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SULLIVAN RENAISSANCE BEGINS TROUT PARADE PLANS

Area trout trembles in fear

February 2, 2005

[LIBERTY] – Members of the Sullivan Renaissance announced today that planning has begun for the second annual Trout Parade in Livingston Manor, New York. The event, which last year attracted people from around the state, is expected to draw even larger crowds this year.

However, not all area residents are pleased with the event. "My family has lived in this river for generations," said a local trout named Gil. "I'm simply trying to carry on the family tradition of laying eggs and dining on local insects without having my family be harassed and possibly harmed by city folk who have nothing better to do on a June afternoon."

The sentiments expressed by Gil seem to be echoed by many of the area's aquatic inhabitants. Some have even become militant. "It's time to stop swimming idly and step up and fight!" declared one trout who only gave a first name of Finn. "Many of us are talking about staging a nonviolent protest by boycotting the tasty flies and worms that are offered to us, because we know that these gifts have strings (and hooks) attached."

Members of the Renaissance dismissed such fears, and have invited the trout residents to come to the parade and see for themselves what the event is all about instead of relying on rumors.